Rolling clouds –
as shapeless as
I seem to have an aversion to “as”…. When I read rolling clouds – my mind comes to the dynamic forms they make…
Rolling clouds –
mood swings becoming
Thanks for letting me exercise my haiku with you. I’ve been up to my neck in e-mail and this is a welcome break. Some people find it annoying and if it is, I’ll stop. I probably should stop and just make my notes and from your prompts I may end up having a ton of stuff I could submit for publication. Many thank.
It’s a very good point you make here – “as” does seem to weaken it a little, perhaps. Sometimes I shift the lines around to try different combinations, which often prompts removal or addition of articles, prepositions, pronouns etc. At other times I go with my first creation. In this case, I liked the economy of syllables…
I don’t mind letting you exercise your haiku with me at all, but I must admit I was a little surprised to find such high quality pieces being used in response. Having said that, I will miss the interaction if you do decide to withdraw and keep them for publication 🙂
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Japan through a haiku lens
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